Out of Control Sexual Behavior
I work with people in individual and group therapy who are concerned about the frequency, intensity, or content of their consensual sexual behavior. Some report having an addiction or compulsion, or have been told by a partner or loved one they are a sex addict. Whatever label is used to describe the behavior or experience, there is generally an experience of feeling out of control or conflicted about their sexual behavior. Following the approach of Braun-Harvey and Vigorito, I use the term "out of control sexual behavior" (OCSB) to describe the general umbrella of experiences of feeling out of control to some degree regarding sexual behavior. I also work with people who do not feel out of control but have a conflict between their behavior and their values or relationship agreements.
Group Therapy Online for OCSB
As a certified group psychotherapist, I co-lead a therapy group with Adam Scalese, PhD, for adults who feel out of control regarding their own consensual sexual behaviors. This group is not meant to replace or compete with the addiction-treatment industry, nor is this a 12-step support group. Instead, this is a psychotherapy group designed for each member to work toward their own vision for sexual health, feel more in control, and keep agreements in their relationships and with themselves. A screening and assessment process is required for new group members. Group admission will be handled on a rolling basis, after the screening and assessment process. People of all sexual orientations and genders are welcome.
To participate, potential group members must be living in one of the PSYPACT states (licensure e-passport for qualified psychologists). Note that NY and MA are not yet part of PSYPACT but have pending legislation.
Cost
Initial Screening: One 5–15-minute individual Zoom chat to determine whether or not to move foward with the assessment process. Free
Assessment: 3–8 (sometimes more) 45-minute individual sessions over Zoom to determine if this group is the right fit, and/or get potential participants ready for group. $175 per session
Group Therapy Sessions: 90 minutes each week with an initial minimum 6-month commitment, with 2 free absences during each 6-month period. After the 6-month agreement is complete, each member decides to stay or exit the group, based on their progress toward their goals and moving toward their vision for sexual health. $85 per week
Monthly Support Group: After completing the weekly group and consistently keeping their sexual health boundaries over time, a few members choose to join the 90-minute, monthly support group, when there is space available. Support group members commit to 6 group meetings at a time, with 2 excused (uncharged) absences each time. $85 per month
Frequently Asked Questions:
1. How long does someone typically stay in the group? While the minimum commitment is 6 months, the average time is about 10–12 months; some group members choose to stay for a few years; others move to the monthly group.
2. Why is there a 6-month commitment? Given the nature of the concerns of group members, we require this commitment. It would otherwise be disruptive to the group to have new members "just try it out" for a few weeks. This group represents a significant commitment and members need to know that others in the group will be invested for a sufficient amount of time in order to feel safe and express vulnerable feelings and thoughts. Group members also need sufficient time to practice making and keeping agreements, as well as to experience attachment-related conflicts and repair of relationships in the group.
3. How many people attend the group? There are typically between 5 and 7 members at any given time in the group. 8 is the maximum number (we have tried 9 members at different times, but it can feel too big).
4. Should I be in individual therapy in addition to the OCSB group? While it is not a requirement, we strongly recommend that group members have individual therapy at least once per month. This can be done with one of the OCSB group leaders, or a therapist of their choosing.
5. How often are there openings in the group? This fluctuates—on average about once every 3 months there is a new opening. Sometimes sooner, sometimes the wait can be 6 months or more.
6. How is this different from a support group? In the OCSB therapy group, members create their own sexual health plan, including their own boundaries—the only requirement is that their boundaries are consistent with the 6 principles of sexual health. Group members also encouraged to talk to each other during group, sharing their feelings, reactions, support, and feedback with each other, facilitated by the group therapists.
Here is a series of short videos on the sexual health principles: